We have all experienced fear at some point in our lives. Fear in and of itself is not necessarily bad. How it effects us is determined by how we both view and deal with it. Based on our different perspectives, fear can either motivate or cripple us. Fear must be managed in order to be useful. According to one entrepreneur, fear is due to the temporary lack of information. In many cases , it can be due to the acquiring of wrong information. This definition best supports the popular acronym for fear which is False Evidence Appearing Real.
Nearly 15-20% of human beings experience specific phobias or fears at least once in their lives. In the U.S., 8.7% of people ( ages 18 or older) have at least one extreme specific fear. Imagine how much more empowered each of those individuals would be if they were to overcome their fears. It would like breaking out of their own mental/emotional prison. How much more fulfilling would their lives become due to their courage in facing their fear and overcoming it? Actually, a definition of courage is to move forward towards a destination or accomplishment of a goal despite feeling afraid. Once we decide to do this, we take back our power. We start to realize that what we were afraid of didn’t deserve the “respect” that we gave it regardless of what “it” is. Through my research, I have identified five of the most common fears that people suffer from as well as possible solutions for each one.
1)Fear of Failure
I have personal experience with this type of fear. Fear of failure can stop you in your tracks if you allow it . You constantly ask yourself , “What if?”, “What if I fail?”, What if I can’t find another job?,” If I invest in this business or quit my current job to pursue my dreams, how will I support my family?”, ” Will my family say?”. As the old expression goes, “Been there, done that… Brought back a tshirt!” It is one thing to be wise. It is a whole other thing to “hide” behind fear disguised as wisdom. Fear, if not addressed, will run deep. Although it’s foundation is based on lies, exaggerations, half truths and ignorance, it will cripple you. Years of your life will pass by without making any significant progress in life. True success is not determined by your bank account, popularity or the number of “toys” that you possess. None of those things will matter on your death bed. Life is meant to be lived fulfilled. Fulfillment is achieved through living authentically. In order to live your truth,you must be courageous. As long as you are breathing you are moving forward while actively engaged in your own creation process. This lifestyle is not for the fainthearted nor the people pleaser. Let’s look at possible solutions to overcoming this fear.
2)Fear of Success
I think I struggle with this myself. I discovered eight behaviors associated with this fear only to realize that I have been suffering with all of them. It feels like someone punched me square in the chest. It even took my breath away a little bit. As I researched further, I discovered that this fear is very common. What if I achieve what I set out to do? Will I be able to handle it? Many questions run through my mind. The bottom line is that I won’t know until I get there. Life is full of challenges and it’s okay. I have come to the conclusion that in order to get the most out of life one must be willing to experience every aspect of it. Expect adversities in all forms. In order to truly get the most out of this life, it is necessary to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Success comes with its own set of challenges like any other experience in life. Stay present and determined to get the most out of whatever situation you find yourself in at the moment. Bring your “A” game to each event that shows up in your life. Look for the lesson and commit yourself to learn from it. To learn is to grow. To grow is to win. You will find that your life experiences will become that much richer. At the end of your life, none of the accolades will matter. All that will count will be your relationships and experiences. You take your experiences with you. Your relationships will determine your legacy. A true determiner of success is the impact that you had on people’s lives. Be sure to let the people know that are close to you how much you appreciate them. No one achieves success on their own. If you surround yourself with people that know that you care about them, they will tend to stay loyal to you. They will both support and protect you.
3)Fear of Public Speaking
The fear of public speaking is rampant within human society anywhere in the world today. According to Brandon Gaille at www.brandongaille.com,, it is estimated that 5.3 million Americans suffer from a social phobia. Around 74% of Americans suffer from speech anxiety. It is the greatest fear that people have, even greater than spiders and death. At any given time, 5% of the world’s population suffer from the fear of speaking. It can have a direct impact on how much money you make at your job or business. If you cannot express your ideas clearly and to the right people , you will limit your scope of influence. At this moment, you might have an idea inside of you that people within your local area ,if not much broader, need to know. You do both yourself and others a great disservice not sharing your ideas . Not only does your input , potentially, help others , but you might benefit significantly from others feedback.
4)Fear of Being Alone
Never compromise yourself!! You deserve to have relationships in your life that nourish you. Surround yourself with positive people. Expect the best both from and for yourself as well as from others. If you find yourself alone there is no need to be afraid. Know your worth and trust that the universe will send the right people to your doorstep. Love yourself and your experiences will start to mirror this mindset. Your life is a reflection of how you view yourself, others and your world around you. Know your worth. See this time as preparation for your next relationship.. In order to truly build functional relationships, you must first learn to love yourself before you can adequately share yourself with another. You are a creator. Never underestimate your worth.
5)Fear of Change
Change can be scary for any of us. As humans, we tend to get comfortable in certain situations even if those situations aren’t the best for us. If we are not careful,it is easy for any of us to become creatures of both habit and routine. Change is a natural part of life. Nothing stays the same nor is it supposed to. With change, comes the opportunity for growth. Human beings are designed to evolve. The word “evolve” refers to change, adaptation, development or progress. All of these descriptions are positive. If something is not advancing or developing, it is stagnant. Being stagnant leads to death. Expect the best from yourself. Be determined to live your best life on your terms. This is fulfillment.
In this post, I chose to only focus on five fears. In future posts, after further research , I will elaborate more about possible solutions to overcoming these fears. As a disclaimer, I am not a therapist nor have I ever claimed to be one. I am someone who realizes that his personal passion is inspiring others to go within themselves in order to discover their own personal authentic power. To this end , I will continue to use my words, both spoken and written, as well as my life to inspire as many people as possible to accomplish this end. Until next time..