Overcoming the Fear of Being Alone

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As human beings, for most of us, it is a natural inclination to socialize. For many of us , we love to have friends. We like the idea of being popular as well as liked by others. Having healthy relationships contributes towards our personal growth. They help to improve our quality of life. When this happens, life can  become more fulfilling for us. That being said, there are also numerous benefits to being comfortable with being by your self. As beneficial as having relationships is, it is arguably more important to be able to enjoy solitude.

According to an article in the Huffington Post, 1 in 3 adults in the United States they fear being alone. In another article featured in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology it was stated that fear of being single may drive adults to either stay in toxic relationships or settle for partners below their standard. Life is too short to be crippled by fear of anything. You are not designed to be overpowered. Surrendering to your fears halts your growth. Fear is meant to be managed and mastered. Although it can be a problem,it comes with a solution. Problems and solutions are opposite sides of the same coin. Let’s look at several possible solutions that others have used to overcome their fear of being alone.

Pursue Interests or Hobbies

Use your time alone to research topics that you are interested in learning more about. Perhaps there are hobbies that you used to engage in earlier in your life. If not, a quick google search can open up “doors” to potentially unlimited opportunities. You need to keep your mind engaged. Hobbies are great for our personal development. Once you start pursuing them , eventually, you will improve. Once you start improving, you might start developing stronger self esteem. You begin to expand your capabilities  which can strengthen your sense of self worth. People who possess high levels of self esteem tend not to struggle with fear of loneliness. They are comfortable in their own skin. They know how to entertain themselves and do not require someone else to complete them.

Build Nourishing Relationships/Eliminate Toxic Ones

Surround yourself with people that genuinely like you for you are. This group also includes family members. Certain family members may love you, but not necessarily like you because you don’t “fit” the mold that THEY have created for you. That’s their business. Establish relationships with people who love you for who you are. You support one another and enjoy each others company. You also respect each others space. There are many of us that grew up in toxic, abusive environments. Consciously and subconsciously, these experiences shape who we become. Perhaps you are involved in a relationship with someone who is controlling or grew up with an abusive, overbearing parent. If we are not mindful, these experiences condition us to think that those type of relationships are normal. We attach our personal identity to them. We can go throughout our entire lives attracting the same type of character perpetuating the same dysfunctional cycle over and over again. In theses cases, it is better to be alone. Why associate yourself with people who sap your energy? Nourishing relationships empower you. You empower one another. You live other feeling better yourself ,them and life, in general. A good sign of an enriching relationship is anticipation for your next meeting. You appreciate one another and enjoy spending time together, but neither of you are the center of the other persons’ life. A person who has invested in relationships that prove constructive and empowering  never truly feel alone even when they are by themselves.

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Search for Opportunities to Meet People

Look for clubs to join. If you decide to establish a long term hobby that keeps you engaged, look for a meetup group consisting of like minded people. Go to concerts or social events. Search online for social events in your community that are either free or low cost. Join a gym. Regardless of what you decide to join, always remember that you tend to attract who you are. I can’t stress enough the importance of being comfortable with who you are as an individual. This is important. Remember that you are already complete, therefore, you are not lacking anything. Own it. If not, you position yourself to attract people who do not have your best interest at heart. Beware of the energy drainers and dream killers. Never settle.

Focus on Finding Opportunities to Help Others

Helping others can give you a sense of purpose. We tend to feel fulfilled when others look up to us for assistance and guidance. Life becomes more meaningful. Serving others empowers . We begin to appreciate life more. We become more grateful for what we have. It takes our focus off of our own challenges. Regardless of where you are in life, there are others that can benefit from your wisdom and help. You might not consider yourself wise, but you are. Your “wisdom” is your life , personality and perspective . Look for opportunities to share it with others. Both the giver of kindness and recipient of it benefit.  Serving is a solution for loneliness for all parties involved. Everybody wins.

In conclusion, it is unnatural for any of us to be mastered by anything. Freedom , in all of its forms, is your birthright. You are each here to live on purpose. If you allow it to,fear will cripple you  right where you stand. When you face your fear, acknowledge it ,yet decide to do what scares you anyway, you begin to take your power back. Again, although fear is natural, it must be managed. Fear management leads to fear mastery. Mastery leads to freedom. “Freedom to do what?”, you might ask. Freedom to live your best life… on your own terms. To live this way, is to live your truth. This is what the worlds needs. It needs more people to have the courage to live their truth. They are the changemakers. It is up to the changemakers to save the world. Power to the changemakers… Conquer your fear….  Until next time..

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