Fear is part of life. It’s natural to be afraid of the unknown. We tend to overthink about possible outcomes that , most of the time, never happen. Personally, I have years of experience with this type of fear. I have spent many years ” on the fence” between living the life that I was taught I was supposed to be living and living life on my own terms. It took me potentially facing ALL of my worst fears at the same time! Life as I knew it was shattering before my eyes and I felt as if I could not do a damn thing about it. I couldn’t get a break. I kept waiting for life to get easier, but each day came with one challenge after the other. I had just lost my job.My marriage was failing . I was broke and facing homelessness. To top it all off, I was depressed to the point of being suicidal. I felt like the poster boy for failure.It felt like the end of the world. It wasn’t. It was only the end of the world as I knew it.
It is never the end of the world
It might seem like it at times. Perhaps , you might even want it to be so that you might finally experience some form of peace. I remember , at times, lying down to take a nap only to wake up gasping for air. I was having panic attacks. It was like my mind and body were constantly asking “Damn,what’s next?!!”. I wanted to be out of the situation that I was in, yet I was afraid to move forward. I began to anticipate more challenges. These thoughts temporarily consumed me… temporarily. Each day I felt that I was walking on egg shells anticipating the next “defeat”. After a while, I became calloused. I had started to develop thick skin. Although I still felt afraid, I had become comfortable being uncomfortable. I had to move forward with the fear. I learned to manage it. I figured out that it is never truly the end of the world. The next day will come. Besides , if it didn’t come, whatever else was in front of me ,at that moment, I would still need to deal with anyway. Other than that realization, I decided to keep moving forward.
What is the worst that can happen?
Consider the worst case scenario. We are more resilient than we tend to give ourselves credit for. Human beings can go through some pretty heinous situations and bounce right back. In many cases, we come back stronger and wiser due to the experience. As we are going through it, it might seem unbearable. Some how, some way it works out. At times, it seems like a blur because it is just that painful. Nevertheless, we get through it. There are countless stories of individuals who have overcome seemingly insurmountable odds to become phenomenal successes in various fields. They end up being trailblazers. I am willing to bet that each one of them experienced fear. They might have allowed themselves to doubt for a moment, but they never stayed there.
I have concluded that every problem has a solution. I might not know what it is at that moment, but I am certain that there is one. I have learned to acknowledge fear without allowing it to define me. I will not allow anything or anyone to determine my self worth or potential. I will be mastered by nothing. Fear has to keep up with me. Never allow fear to cripple you. It might seem as if you have no control over your circumstances, but you damn well can develop mastery over your emotions. Your emotions determine your actions. You define who you are as well as who you are becoming. As long as you are breathing, the next day will come. Be determined to grow from your current circumstance. On to the next adventure..
Stop worrying about what other people think
You can’t base your life decisions on what other people think you should do. I am not implying that mentors are not beneficial, but , ultimately, you have to make your own decisions. As I wrote earlier, most pioneers of any industry had to have the courage to follow their own “gut” intuition and create their own plan. This doesn’t mean that they didn’t require help, at certain points, to achieve their goals. The implication is that they took responsibility for fulfilling their own destiny. In many cases, they faced harsh criticism form the naysayers and “experts”. Nevertheless, they remained devoted to the realization of their vision. In the end, their courage, faith , commitment and work ethic paid off. They became astonishingly successful. They silenced all of the naysayers and retired the “experts” becoming the new authority in their field. Many of them literally changed the world with their ideas, products and services. If others don’t support your dream, don’t get upset. It’s YOUR dream. They will see it when it is realized. Learn to use criticism as fuel for fulfilling your greatest vision. Always dream BIG. You might end up surprising yourself.
Enough said. Until next time….